Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
