..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
