what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
