I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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