So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can you bring me the toilet please
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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