So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
