That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
