No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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