Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
