dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize