my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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