you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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