I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
