Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
