If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
