You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
