My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize