So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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