You just made me feel so damn special
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
