my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
