i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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