She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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