I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
