I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
