If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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