So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
