Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
