So drunk its hurt
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
