Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
