i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
