why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
