Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
