I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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