Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize