i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
