This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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