plz talk dirty to me
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
