Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...

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(212): View more from New York

it was like a zeppelin in a condom

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(801): View more from Utah

What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?

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(407): View more from Florida

you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.

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(845): View more from New York

Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?

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(613): View more from Ontario

Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

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(713): View more from Texas

He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?

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