youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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