ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
