Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
