Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
