I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
