It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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