mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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