Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Drunk is a universal language darling
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
