So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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