I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
