My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
