Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
