a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
