The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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