How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize