There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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