Welp...herpes.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
