Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
