We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
