the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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