No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
