I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
