the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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