he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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