Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
