We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
...so i touched it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
