gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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