I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
